I’m sort of a sucker for romance. Or at the very least, a sucker for cutesiness. In the last few years I’ve been really into Valentine’s Day, and all the cuteness that comes with it. Pinks, reds, purples, hearts and heart-shaped things everywhere, candy, sweets, baked goods and lovey dovey mushiness for mushiness sake. Plus an excuse to go out (or stay in) and dress up, in whichever way that may look to you.
I can’t get enough of it, usually.
As with most other events and holidays this year, it will be different for us, but not in the way that we were expecting. Instead of cooing and cuddling on our new sweet Valentine babe, and picking out some cutesy and thematic outfit, we are still in the throes of grief. Grief that seems to have no end in sight. At least not yet, and maybe in a way there never will be… Right now, we are still so deeply in it. It still feels like we’re taking 1 step forward only to be pushed 2 HUGE steps back. It’s a day-to-day process that we are still trying to figure out, day by day. So, yes, it’ll be quite different from last year’s Disney fueled weekend of fun.
I’ve requested that we not exchange any sort of gifts. Maybe it’s selfish, but I just don’t know that I can handle the stress of shopping for another holiday yet again. I feel like I barely survived the anxiety of Christmas and gift buying during that season. As I shared previously, Christmas shopping with all it’s madness was really unbearable for me (read about it here) and sometimes you have to be selfish in order to take the best care of yourself. And luckily, I have a very understanding partner, so, no gifts.
We had agreed to let this Hallmark Holiday pass us by without notice, but my sweet and thoughtful husband made dinner reservations, which I am grateful for. As the holiday nears and I see all the decorations and all the cute posts on social media, I realize I do want to be a part of it in a way, that works for us. Plus, It is always nice spending time together just us two. I enjoy getting dressed up in some cutesy, cheesy, possibly themed outfit, and we will be in one of our favorite places so it should be a nice evening together. And maybe, hubby is so smart, and in tune, that he knew I’d need that. 😉
As we always try to do, we will figure out a way to include the memory of our sweet babe into any and all occasions where we wish she could physically be with us. Our other funny Valentine.
Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone.
Regardless of your relationship status, or of whether you celebrate this day or not, may you feel loved, every day.