1.1.17

Precious Angel,

Today was supposed to be your birthday. The day you would have been born, the day they told us to expect you. To expect a tiny pink, swollen,sleepy, ball of mush and love. You would’ve had mommy and daddy’s dark wavy hair, thick like daddy’s. Mommy’s eyes with daddy’s long lashes. His dimples, our lips combined to make one perfect rosy pout. You would’ve had beautiful brown skin just like mommy and daddy. Soft and sweet, and I would’ve told you everyday of the beauty of your brown skin. Today, you were supposed to have been brand new, just like the new year. With loved ones visiting and fawning over you.

Instead, you have two parents who never met you but miss you, who’ve missed you for the past 7 months since you left us. Sweet baby, today was supposed to have been your birthday. A happy day, a day we’d been praying and hoping for, for so long. Today we were supposed to become a family of three. But instead, mommy and daddy are running away. Running away to find you. Running away like when we first lost you. We are running away to a place where our hearts are happy, where our hearts are at peace, where waves, fog, and cool breezes soothe us. Where the sounds of fog horns rock us to sleep.

We are running away to be together, to heal together, to love you together, we’re running away from the world in search of you.

We love you.

7 thoughts on “1.1.17

  1. Absolutely beautiful! I know this took a lot to write. I lost a sweet baby 8 years ago before I knew if it was a boy or a girl. My heart told me she was a girl so that is what I believe. With tears in my eyes I enjoyed this. My heart aches for you and yours. Hugs!

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing my baby has been one of the most painful experiences I have ever had to endure. I wish you a peaceful healing journey.

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